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GameArk.Net => The Bonk Compendium => Topic started by: lastelixer on July 04, 2010, 08:11:58 PM

Title: Honestly...
Post by: lastelixer on July 04, 2010, 08:11:58 PM
I don't really care much for the Bonk games. I will elaborate on my opinion if anyone cares to hear.
Title: Re: Honestly...
Post by: Eclipsed Moon on July 05, 2010, 01:04:42 AM
I want to hear, but not in less than 500 words.
Title: Re: Honestly...
Post by: lastelixer on July 05, 2010, 11:21:04 PM
The Bonk games... The very first time I ever played a Bonk video game was when I was just a tiny young boy. My older brother got a Turbo Grafx 16, our first video game console since the Nintendo Entertainment System. I remember playing Bonk's Adventure one early Saturday morning, as that was one of the few times of the week that I could have free reign over the video games. It was slightly enjoyable.

Perhaps I was wrong to generalize the whole franchise in my previous post. But there was one Bonk experience that left me so disappointed that I can't forget it. A few years later I wanted to get a new game for my Gameboy. I believe my mother probably took me to Funcoland. There I saw Bonk's Adventure for the Gameboy. I don't know why, but I got it. I'm not sure if the game was new or used, but either way it wasn't very often that I was able to purchase a video game back then.

So I took the thing home and popped in into the Super Gameboy. Within fifteen minutes, I beat the game...

To be continued...
Title: Re: Honestly...
Post by: Eclipsed Moon on July 09, 2010, 04:38:33 AM
I'm still looking forward to part two to round out the five hundred words.
Title: Re: Honestly...
Post by: lastelixer on July 13, 2010, 02:01:56 PM
... I felt cheated. What could I do? Go back and play again to find all the secrets? I didn't even particularly enjoy it the first time, so why would I care to do that? I played the game again a couple times, but only to prove to my friends how short and easy it was. I had this one friend who was the self-proclaimed master of Nintendo games, and he died (as Bonk), so I made fun of him.

I'm curious as to what the hell they were thinking when they sold this crap. A crappy game? Ok. A short game? Fine. A crappy, short game? I should have sued. Later today I will play the game again so I can say more about it. It has been about fifteen years.

To be continued...
Title: Re: Honestly...
Post by: lastelixer on July 13, 2010, 07:23:31 PM
Round 1. Way too much bouncing. It's not fun at all. First boss  was a piece of cake, reminiscent of Sonic or Wario Land. No big complaints for a first boss.

Round 2. What's more fun than bouncing? How about climbing up a tree with your teeth for a whole level? Followed by even more bouncing? Followed by a boss that is essentially the same as the first, just a different appearance. And you have to be slightly more patient, which was hard for me because this time I was TRYING to rush through the game.

Round 3. A water level. Swimming in this game is a chore. Awful acrobatic bonus level. Just noticed that you can't duck. The boss was again the same idea, but took way too many hits to kill. I wanted to give up.

Round 4. Starts to feel like a real game. Wish it started out like this. Boss is an ice-skating dinosauress. Easiest boss by far.

I felt like quitting about now. And you say "What? You said it was too short." But I must have enjoyed it more back then. Otherwise I wouldn't be complaining about the length. In any case, I continue because I've gotten this far already.

Round 5.  Decent. No boss. The next level must be the end. Can't wait.

Round 6. More climbing with teeth and then fighting all the bosses again a la Megaman. I just couldn't bring myself to fight them, I was so sick of this.

The verdict is in. This is game is not bad for GB platformer. Not great either. I think it is short, but wouldn't feel so short if you couldn't instantly start where you die. Yes, that's the problem. Thank you for listening to my story.
Title: Re: Honestly...
Post by: Eclipsed Moon on July 13, 2010, 07:31:40 PM
Thank you for fulfilling the 500 word requirement.  By the way, I totally agree with you, Bonk's Adventure on Game Boy is pretty bad.  But the TG16 games and Super Bonk are all good if you ask me, which I presume you do, and that's why I answered.
Title: Re: Honestly...
Post by: lastelixer on August 03, 2011, 03:47:00 AM
I agree.
Title: Re: Honestly...
Post by: lastelixer on August 17, 2011, 03:49:12 AM
It's already been over a year since this? WTF?
Title: Re: Honestly...
Post by: rollins on September 05, 2011, 02:33:47 AM
Quote from: lastelixer on July 13, 2010, 07:23:31 PM
Round 1. Way too much bouncing. It's not fun at all. First boss  was a piece of cake, reminiscent of Sonic or Wario Land. No big complaints for a first boss.

Round 2. What's more fun than bouncing? How about climbing up a tree with your teeth for a whole level? Followed by even more bouncing? Followed by a boss that is essentially the same as the first, just a different appearance. And you have to be slightly more patient, which was hard for me because this time I was TRYING to rush through the game.

Round 3. A water level. Swimming in this game is a chore. Awful acrobatic bonus level. Just noticed that you can't duck. The boss was again the same idea, but took way too many hits to kill. I wanted to give up.

Round 4. Starts to feel like a real game. Wish it started out like this. Boss is an ice-skating dinosauress. Easiest boss by far.

I felt like quitting about now. And you say "What? You said it was too short." But I must have enjoyed it more back then. Otherwise I wouldn't be complaining about the length. In any case, I continue because I've gotten this far already.

Round 5.  Decent. No boss. The next level must be the end. Can't wait.

Round 6. More climbing with teeth and then fighting all the bosses again a la Megaman. I just couldn't bring myself to fight them, I was so sick of this.

The verdict is in. This is game is not bad for GB platformer. Not great either. I think it is short, but wouldn't feel so short if you couldn't instantly start where you die. Yes, that's the problem. Thank you for listening to my story.

ahhh ver useful and funny too :)

bottom line "2.what;s more fun than bouncing" lol :)
Title: Re: Honestly...
Post by: lastelixer on December 17, 2012, 01:56:47 AM
I wouldn't mind writing another essay, given a subject.
Title: Re: Honestly...
Post by: lastelixer on July 04, 2013, 12:50:08 AM
Seriously. Does anyone want me to write about another game, or anything else?

Wow, it's the 3rd anniversary.
Title: Re: Honestly...
Post by: lastelixer on July 11, 2013, 01:05:08 AM
Can't damn wait.
Title: Re: Honestly...
Post by: lastelixer on August 02, 2013, 01:34:18 AM
I want to write a review about one of the following games. You choose:

Ys Seven

Kaeru no Tame ni Kane wa Naru

You choose.
Title: Re: Honestly...
Post by: Deezer on August 02, 2013, 09:56:46 PM
I choose... Kaeru!
Title: Re: Honestly...
Post by: lastelixer on August 03, 2013, 02:20:07 AM
Okay. Give me a few days. I cannot wait to KAERU YOUR ASS!
Title: Re: Honestly...
Post by: lastelixer on August 07, 2013, 01:11:20 AM
I'm dying of Dancing Cat Fever. Sorry, I can't write a review.
Title: Re: Honestly...
Post by: lastelixer on October 11, 2013, 12:05:13 AM
Survived DCF. Redday to rite revvvvviewws.
Title: Re: Honestly...
Post by: lastelixer on October 20, 2013, 11:23:42 PM
I just realized that I reviewed the wrong game! The game I hated was Bonk's Revenge!
Title: Re: Honestly...
Post by: lastelixer on November 18, 2013, 01:22:28 AM
Perhaps one day I'll fix this.